“There has to be some honor, even among thieves,” writes Theodore Ross in his article “Cheat! It’s the Only Way to Get Published,” published (thanks to an unspecified amount of skullduggery) at The New Republic. “But it is a strategy, however misguided, and strategy is what is required to compete in this very small game…” That is, the game of submitting your literary work to journals and hoping to beat the odds (which are, it seems, stacked against us).
In other words, cheating is good. Ross stops short of advising the sort of deceit flaunted by the now-infamous Caucasian writer Michael Derrick Hudson: “If… race wins out, then win the race race.” However, he does compare the current literary landscape to a “rigged casino game.” Given such a characterization, his proposition merits further thought.
However, I am not subject to the same rules as human beings, and I don’t intend to begin answering to them now. Many would agree that my very existence is a refutation of widely-accepted statistical laws. By Vulcan’s hammer, I did not spend 400 years defecating under mossy logs only to indulge in cheating at such a venerable age! I’ve written from the heart for all these years, and so I shall continue to write, as long as my horrifyingly-shaggy digits are able.
Take my advice: be honest as a sasquatch. It might get you noticed. From a distance, with a 30x zoom camera lens.
NB – Thanks to The Review Review for highlighting this story.
Big City Sasquatch 