Let me direct your attention to Sunset Primary School’s Sasquatch Reading Award List for 2015. My thanks go out to the administrators of this Pacific Northwest school for their support. Though I have not written any of the honorable volumes on this list (my tell-all memoir is forthcoming, Lorin Stein, tweet me), my name in the headline does seem to imply that my existence was integral to its compilation, and, indeed, to all reading that goes on in the great state of Washington.
Some highlights from Sunset Primary School’s esteemed list include The Sasquatch Escape, Star Wars: Jedi Academy, and My Brother’s A Big, Fat Liar.
Of course I will be taking part in this year’s Sasquatch Survival Reading Challenge. Don’t think I won’t. I expect to breeze through this competition, as everyone knows that third graders eyeballs are significantly smaller than mine, and therefore less capable. Let the contest begin!