I’ll Handle This

Here’s an excerpt from a recent BBC News story titled “Why Obama Is Powerless To Reform Gun Laws:”

During the 2014 mid-term elections, just 36% of eligible voters went to the polls. And more of them, at least in states and congressional districts where it counts, voted for Republican candidates picked in primaries by just 9.5% of US registered voters.

9.5 percent. I’m no statistician, but I am fairly certain 9.5 percent is the opposite of what the policy wonks would call “a majority.”

Just to clarify, that means – contrary to popular understanding – a small fraction of the electorate chooses who governs the vast majority. And that fraction, whose views don’t align with the bulk of the electorate, decides which laws and policies go into effect. Elected officials are nothing like their constituents. They might as well be speaking different languages. Hence the BBC story above. Do I have that right?

Capitol! By that logic, an enormous, hairy freak of nature who, until recently, had never seen an indoor toilet is perfectly fit for political office in the United States! In fact, he is an ideal candidate for the job.

Ahem. Let me take this opportunity to remind you, dear reader, that I am technically still a candidate for president of the United States. My running mate, a seagull, is currently flying about this great nation, delivering stump speeches… Or eating insects… I forget exactly what he said.

Can I count on your vote?


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