— Chet the Sasquatch (@City_Sasquatch) August 26, 2015
And now, for the follow-up soundbyte. Allow me to introduce to you, dear voters, my running mate for the 2016 presidential race: the seagull! Here he is!
No, over here. Over here! Well, he seems distracted by that bread crust buried in the sand, but I assure you that his presidential demeanor will become more apparent upon his return.
One of the reasons I choose him as a Vice President is his undeniable status as an underdog. Read about the history of this much-maligned waterfowl at the London Review of Books, via The Millions. It’s always good to be informed, especially when it comes to government, democracy, and the latest Instagram filters.
Stay tuned for more updates on my bid for president in 2016.