The masses seem suddenly upset with the entire nation of Belgium. Personally, I don’t understand it. Their chocolate is excellent and devoid of soil particulates. My cousin, the bogeyman – or as he’s known there, the boeman – frequents that country quite often and has only glowing things to say about it. The architectural history, the culture, etc. Unfortunately, boeman struggles with a debilitating matrix of neuroses that limit his time out of doors and in social settings. He frequently hides under beds and in closets as a method of managing his agoraphobia. If you see him, be sure to avoid eye contact and keep the conversation non-confrontational.